only lonely

It's cryin day today. Im crying most of the time. Starting from i went to bed last nite, i cried, when i woke up, i cried, when i walked my way to lecture, when i had my lecture, when i walked my way back to lecture, when i cooked my lunch, when i chatted on phone, when i skype-d with jane, when i went for seminar, when i cooked my dinner, eating my fried mihun, when i washed my dishes, when i was taking shower, when i was doing my assignments, when i was arranging my clothes in my wardrobe. I never fail to cry today. I guess i ll be blind very soon.

I duno y. I shall push the blame to my PMS. Plus the very very very weather tat made me freaking cold.

Next, good if u noe mandarin, im bringin u tis song for sharing. It's jolin's 'yi ge ren'.. Yea correct, wat can one person do?



03.一个人
作曲:黄韵仁 作词:阿管

从皮包里扯出我们的照片
沙发要移到客厅的另一边
晚饭后你可以多尝几口想念
已经没有什么人 会埋怨

一个人 到底应该选右边或左边 (Although my bed is small..
两个人 每一次争吵都值得纪念 and i always sleep alone..)
一个人 偶尔感到寂寞再所难免
你的气味还留在枕头边

一个人 我重新适应一切不方便 (This is 100% accurate!!)
两个人 不一定就成全一个世界
一个人 关灯看见记忆的横切面 (I opened the light, n my diary is my blog)
没有光线 过去那些情节 更明显

晴天 阴天 今天又是星期天 (Sorry, today is monday ya..)
唯一的打算是 心更乱一些 (But all the following fits me..)
反正我不知道怎样打发时间
出门或不出门 没差别


I noe i bore u if i jz 'pap' a video o lyrics jz like tat.. Hence hope this little bit could cheer u up, or me at least. Stay tuned!

emos and downs

Making sick is making my mood worse. I jz feel so unhappy today. I dont know y.

Jane has been accompanyin me til 2am of her time these two days. Im so touched. But once she said that she's heading to bed, i felt so reluctant. But i noe i cant be selfish to make her stay til late nite, esp when she's having her spm on tues.

K then, thx to the cold compression, fever has slipped away but flu is here to come. I couldnt hv a nice sleep last nite due to my 'stucked' nose.. Forced to breathe with my mouth when my throat was very dry too. It was terrible.

Dad n mum were 'beggin' me to approach the doctor on mon. But i dun feel like going. Other than bcuz it's troublesome, also bcuz i quite enjoy being sick. Im not going to tel u why, shall u guess?



Lectures wil begin tmr again. It's going to be week 7. ANother 3 more weeks for the day for home. I jz cant wait for the day to come. Til now, I havent like 100% like this place, although the trees r pretty, the roads r clean, the ppl r helpful, the gardens r green, n oso, my cosy little room. Pinkiecloud's sunshine n spirit r not working here. I just feel like waitin for every single day to pass.

I dont think anyone else who went overseas regretted izit.. But im kind of. To me, i really think that family plays the most pivotal part in my life.

I think im jz crappin. Despite my flu n headache. Dun worry bout me. I noe i shud stop. Hopefully the rain is going n the sun n clouds r here to cheer me up again.

high temperature

Haha. wat a funny title for tonite's post. N even funny when i can sit here n blog whilst having fever. Im sick! Just had my first porridge in uk. =(

A million thank you to royce for taking care of me today. She lent me her thermometer, then onli i realised that my temperature was 38.8C! Is it considered very severe, i dun know, but definitely im feeling very uncomfortable now. I noe i noe, i shud have gone to rest, but i just dun feel like resting yet, i wan2 watch drama. Oh dear..

Besides that, i hv terrible cough n itchy throat. Dehydration probably? ROyce has been 'monitoring' my meals n my rest. I muz really really thank her. She has been giving me a lot of lifting hand since i came here. I feel so lucky to hv her staying nx to me.

Ya, so i wont be able to attend Nott Games tmr, wont be able to enjoy lots of lots of Msian delights that i miss a lot, wont be able to grab a picture of Nott Campus, wont be able to travel.. My opportunity cost is extremely big for being sick.

Actually i dont know how did i get sick. As i mentioned yesterday, it was quite out of sudden. Dad n mum were very worried too. Being sick at ur non-country is really painful rite, how much i wish that my mum is here to take care of me now.

Happpyy Halloweeen

Well, as the title suggests, i had my first halloween in uk on tues nite. It was proudly presented by our MSA (Malaysian Students Assocation). Initially, there r sum circumstances where we had to amend our plans at the eleventh hour bcuz it seems all the materials posted up must be fire resistant o fire proof. Moreover u cannot block all the entrances n fire exits. Of course it's perceptible tat these r for safety reasons. But luckily everything turned out quite well in the end.

Tat's michelle.. Hehe.. La la la la la.. Im not scared =P

It was a night of chills and screams and drinks and partying, supposedly, but I spent most of my time tottering around. ANyway, i didn go thru the 'ghost tunnel', as u noe, i ll definitely be horrified n make myself ashamed.. Esp when i have to walk back to my little heronbank at nite.. So i was there having a good good time watching ppl being scared..

Royce n me again..

The future lawyers (except me)..

The 'ghosts'..

Im sorry i dun hv time to upload massive photos here. But most of the guests, i would say, really took their time to dress up for the event. U can see a large spectrum of images everywhere. I shall get a costume for halloween nx time..

Okay, right now im happily sittin here bloggin. Where else i shud be studyin o completing my assignments at least. Nvm, i love bloggin bcuz it gives me time n space to 'communicate' with myself, recall my experiences n at least, hv a breather for myself.

Im sick le.. Jz started coughin n lost my voice without warning today. Tat's very bad. How could i skype without my high-pitched chickie voice. In other words, i shud even beware of my meals for these few days. I dowan it to deteriote n worsen my mood. Being sick without comfort n care of home is very very very very sorrowful..

N i have a confession to make tonite. Im feeling extremely guilty for 'fishing' during lectures. I tried to control n make myself awake but my eyes were really droppin.. THey just dont listen to me. Speaking bout this, im not certain if im pickin up with my studies now. Esp for political n philosophical modules, im kinda strugglin. Everythin is so abstract n i noe im seriously lack of general knowledge. I dun even noe where Africa, Greece, Germany etc etc r located in. N seminar readings has been giving me a huge headache bcuz i cant understand them. I went thru sentence by sentence, word by word, n try to explain it to myself. But.. the sentences jz dun make sense! N tat's y i cant participate actively n indulge myself in the debates o discussions as i myself r unsure of what am i reading. It's pretty sad. Can anyone help me plz?

Okay, it's time to 'pen off' now. Hv a nice day =)

haacheww

Just finished my lunch with chicken and baked beans. Mmm.. delicious..

Oh did i mention? I cooked curry chicken on Saturday (pic above). Like one of those mum always cooked. Bcuz the curry paste is from msia!! Had it with rice and lettuce. Tasty food, coupled with the nostalgia of home.


Speaking of home, i shud really stop bawling all over my phone conversation with..... though. I ve been attending lecture with red eyes n pinkie noses these few times. Honestly, i hope to be home for Easter holiday. But i know it's just too costly. I don't know. I noe i shud not waste money, but being at home gives me lots of lots of happiness and pleasure. Can i be selfish for this? Im terribly homesick. N if u r wondering y am i planning for easter holi when christmas holi is not even here yet, it's bcuz i hope to gain advantage of the earlybird discount for air tickets.

Did nothing much productive on sunday. Not any academic work but spent my free time cooking more healthy food, cleaning my boots and shoes, wiping my shelves, arranging my books and wardrobe nicely. Oh, i realised that washing shoes is not an easy task. I shud appreciate it more when i hv kakak to wash my white school shoes every week.

N tat's the new member for my shoe 'rack. The one on the left end. It costed me 27 pounds hmm..

A clearer view of it.. Feel sorry to wear n dirty it..

Should have really started with revision since half of the term has passed. Gnawing guilt, has been procrastinatin n wanderin all the time. Being a superb dreamer now. Please, please make sure i m on the track of picking up my studies this week. Otherwise another beautiful week is gone. Hey but im going for nott games tis sat n oso halloween party tmr. Hehe. Let's see how adamant am i. Hv a nice day =)

fall of little snow flakes

Well, for this week, im bringin u my first snow in uk. It was on Tuesday afternoon, i was busily ploughing through my seminar readings. Then royce msged me n told me that it seemed that it was snowing outside. Immediately I turned my head to my little window, it was raining. When i looked clearly, i saw rain with little droplets of ice. N without warning, the ice droplets became snow, fluttering down from the white sky. The transition was just in split second.

I quickly took out my coat n grabbed my camera. I went down to see chiew yi and both of us ran out of the hall. People must be wondering why these two young girls stil went out despite it's snowing outside. But we couldnt care, we werent sure when will the nx snow come, nor for long will this snow lasts. We just couldnt miss the golden opportunity. Soon, we were busy taking photos for each other and camwhoring.

It was really cold. But the beauty of snow just overrode me.

But after a few minutes, I saw people around me. They were taking pictures too. Everyone was excited and White Christmas feel is in the air. The little garden looks so romantic, isnt it?

Grasses and leaves were no longer green..

Let's see where these icy footpaths wil bring us to..

My flat 87! N my little apple green brolly..

We din stay too long outside as it's really really cold. When i was back to my room, i sat down beside my little window n observed the whole picturesque. I cant find the right word to express this, but i was feeling very good. The snow came just in time. Just before that, i was rather depressed to hang up when i skype with my family. Amazing, i hv a kind of feeling where the snow was a gift of comfort for me, pleading me to be strong and positive. The trickles of snow led to a big grin on my face.


Snowing stopped in the evening, but snow was there to stay (cuz it takes time to melt). With the light effects now, it was even extremely beautiful. Picture contributed by royce..
Story of snow flakes to be continued..

Wednesday was cool. Went to late night shopping with royce. But before that we had dinner in xanana. Well, believe it or not, eating outside (even if it's on campus) is already a form of luxury to us. I ordered a baguette which costed me 5.95pounds! So u can see, it's really luxurious =( I have to apologize as no picture is provided bcuz i was too hungry tat nite. Gobbled up my food once it's in front of me. SHame on me, i noe.. Anyway, the nite marketing was quite riveting, except tat the horrible strong winds.

The nite actually ended up with a conversation with wendy, who woke up early in the morning to complete her assignment tasks. Wendy, muz gambate ya. N thx for the company, extremely when u r busy. Im also adapting to the new style of academic n social life here. However honestly, I think i need to open my eyes more. Ask more, venture more, plan more, and have myself instilled with greater determination. Stop wandering, stop procrastinating, stop wasting time, stop giving excuses etc etc.

The story of snow flakes continue. Undeniable, snowing made everyone excited. However, my worries began. It shouldnt be snowing in October. Does it mean the weather is changing? Oh dear.. Im struggling to withstand the cold of autumn, i really dont know how am i going to survive and withstand the negatives in winter.

This issue brought me to coventry 2 days later, which is the lovely Friday. Royce n me went to city center to get sum THICK winter coats to keep ourselves warm whilst the temperature is decreasing. Yet i din bring a coat back with me. Boots and tops instead. In the realm of financing, I was quite fed up with shopping with converting currencies, as the result wil always end up with the costly GBP.. Nevertheless, shopping was fun. At least, homesickness n loneliness were banished aside.

Well, it's currently saturday morning n i really hv to start working on my assignments, readings and exercises again. Am feeling rather guilt-ridden and terrible cuz i ve been spending extraordinary much tis week. N doing nthing much productive in terms of my academic studies. But im happy. I promise i ll budget properly for the nx few weeks. Time for bed, n i ll start working on my to do list tmr. Sweet dreams ^-^