As informed earlier, i have to prepare for my university application this holi. After then onli i knew that it was not as easy as i tot. According to the list that my sponsor gave me, now i could onli further my studies in uk or us. To me, of course my preference goes to uk, in terms of study environment and qualities it is better than us, but then its living expenses is very much higher. Nevertheless im sponsored, so in my mind i prefer us very much more.
First of all, i duno what course i would like to take. I have 3 options in my mind, accounting, economics and actuarial science. Actuarial science promises a very good pay in future, but being regarded as the one of the world's toughest subject to study, i knew i really have to strive and struggle to do it, and im not certain if i have the ability to do that. Stimes by being hardworking is not enough. Secondly, accounting. It has been my plan to do accounting since i was in my secondary, but then i found that accounting is too common and that i might face job problems after i graduate if the supply is too high. So then i came to econs, which is a subject which i onli get to exposed to during my A-levels. I fair quite good in econs compared to my sciences. So i tot it would be managable for me. But on the other hand, the career prospects of econs is not so good. Either i can be a analysis or a lecturer after my degree. Oh gosh, im actually yearning for sthing which brings a greater yield. So now, im so stucked at the first part. I ve resorted to a education consultant and it doesn't help much, because they onli tel u the pro and cons but not decide for u.
Now the second part. If u take a look at the list of uni my sponsor prepared, it's all highly prestigious unis.. For instance, cambridge, oxford, lse, harvard, princeton, yale, and mit. The onli insurance is only loughborough and warwick. To gain admission into these few universities is a real success, because even a straight a's result doesnt guarantee a place. In this case, if i didn gain admission for even loughborough o warwick, then that's the end of my scholarship and i ll have to continue my studies locally. I dun really mind that, because im not sure if i can cope and adapt myself to the new environment overseas. I will feel so helpless and depressed to settle all things along in a new place which im not familiar with. I ve even plan to study monash if i lost my scholarship. But then, my parents will be so disappointed for they put high expectations on me, esp my mum. They really really hope that i could enter a very renowned uni as it would be very very and extremely beneficial for my future career. My dad even kept a copy of my SPM cert in his working bag and showed it to some of the other captains while he was working. Hence i knew that they really really hope a lot from me. N i was very very afraid that i ll disappoint them. Stimes i tot, if onli i didn scored so well in my spm, maybe they wont expect so much from me. Then i can study very relaxly. But of course, if i relax now i wont get to enjoy that much in future.
I understand that if things dont work well i shouldn't blame myself too much as long i ve tried my best. So what i could do now is just try my very very best and work very very hard. I was given the opportunity to study overseas without have to worry about financial status, while there are many ppl outside there who can study but do not have financial support, so now i must grab the 'gift' given to me and use it well.
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