separation

I never thought that it would be this difficult to pack my life into a suitcase and leave home.

I thought leaving would be easy. It wasnt. It still isn't. I thought it would be easier the 4th time. I was wrong again. It doesn't get easier.

Every nite, i could imagine and foresee my reactions while in the airport. The time when i check into the departure gate, the moment i went into the boarding gate, the way while i step into my plane.. The cut is so severe, so deep, so painful.

I keep telling myself to take it easy. The length of time im spending at home now is longer than the length of time that i will be spending in uk next week. I guess so many people (esp my sister) would be extremely frustrated with me: Im not appreciating with what i have now.

Day after day, i beg the time to turn and tick slower. But it doesnt listen to me. It never.